I’ve been home for 2 days straight. I want to get out and do something. This place is driving me crazy with the constant arguments.
When I lie down in bed, unable to sleep, and my mind drifts to matters such as death, I begin to become overwhelmingly depressed. The depressed state extends and covers an umbrella of topics such as the meaning of our existence, death - my own mortality, death of loved ones and extremely negative thoughts about the future. When I say depressed, I mean both clinically depressed (which has been enhanced during the night) and emotional depression.
It is curious how the change in environment (day to night) causes a drastic change in perception, mood and feeling. Matters about the future that you were fairly optimistic about seem to mirror and reverse until you become pessimistic. Thoughts that seem trivial during the day become things of the utmost importance during the night. Thoughts about death, which during the day, you utterly disregard as unimportant (and not frightening in the remote) become overwhelmingly frightening. Of course, you can be depressed during the day but this is regarding why it’s so prominent and overwhelming when lying in bed, alone. To the point, in fact in extreme cases, where you can even begin to contemplate suicide every night only to disregard it as trivial weakness the next day.
Does anybody else, clinically depressed or otherwise, get overwhelmingly sad or depressing feelings brought on suddenly at night?
I just had a horrible dream, I thought everything that happened in it was real…I’m so glad it was just a dream…
